Who Will I Be

Making big decisions sends me into an existential crisis


With two different personalities represented in her makeup, senior Sophia McCraney looks at herself in the mirror May 1 at her house.

Sophia McCraney

At the beginning of Camp Rock, there’s a song in which Demi Lovato’s character, Mitchie, contemplates which side of herself to show the world. 

“How to choose who to be. Well let’s see, there’s so many choices now.”

With the end of high school approaching, I relate to her sometimes. Making big decisions like choosing a major, or even a college to attend are  crucial and have  a big impact on the rest of my  life. 

Change can be highly frustrating for someone as indecisive as I am. I’m indecisive to a fault. No matter how much advice I seek, my decisions are never backed with 100% confidence. There are so many paths I can take.

Is this what will make me happy? 

Is this what will make me successful? 

Do I really know what I’m getting myself into? 

I want to major in Language Arts and  be a college professor, but what if I don’t like it? The rest of my life is approaching and I don’t want anything to be final. 

Will I reinvent myself like I did in the past? Who will I become this time? 

The number  of ‘what ifs’ multiplies daily . Will I be a crafted version of myself or do I let myself shine the way I am? 

What decisions that I make as an 18-year-old will affect who I’ll be in 20 years?

“Who will I be? It’s up to me. All the never ending possibilities.”