The Snowman is the most disappointing film I have ever seen. When you have Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One in and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy) as director, Martin Scorsese as executive producer and Michael Fassbender as the lead actor, there is no reason that the film should be as bad as it is.

The Snowman is incredibly boring. Three quarters of this movie felt like exposition. For example Arve Stop (J.K Simmons) is introduced in the beginning of the film, talked about for a little bit, then shows up in the third act, and was just pointless to even have in the film. The same thing applies with Rafto (Val Kilmer) who has too much screen time and in the end barely has any reason to be in the film. The film has so many big name actors in the film and under utilizes them. The only reason they have these actors is because names like J.K Simmons and Val Kilmer sell tickets

The film also had way too many subplots that add nothing to the story. There is one in particular about Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) and his son. Another one is Arve Stop subplot which went nowhere and was pointless to even have. Stop is trying to make the world cup to come to Oslo and does less than legal activities. The Rafto one did the same thing. You could argue that his subplot added motivation to a specific character, but that could’ve been said in a sentence, instead of seeing Val Kilmer run around for 20 minutes. These subplots just add extra runtime to the film and are very boring with little payoff in the end.

Michael Fassbender does his best, but he is written for terribly. The first thing wrong with him is nitpicky, but his name is Harry Hole. How am I supposed to take this movie seriously when the main character has a name like that. He is not a smart cookie. He makes one decision in the end of the film that was just stupid. He is supposed to be one of the best detectives there is, but almost gets himself killed in the end and is saved by a deus ex machina. There are also things that happen with him that are unexplained, like him waking up on park benches. This is a waste of Fassbender’s talent.

The last quarter of the film was a complete disaster. To start, there is an action scene that was filmed terribly. The scene only lasted about 30 seconds, but was terrible. It was filled with quick cuts and you couldn’t tell what was happening. The camera movements were also jarring and felt like an amatuer was direcitng. Then the big reveal for who the killer was predictable, and it ends with Fassbender hinting at a sequel, which will hopefully never happen.

Then there were just things in the film that were simple mistakes that could have easily been better. For example the ADR (Audio Dubbing) in this film was terrible and blatantly obvious and was done several times throughout. Also even though the film takes place in Norway, there were a couple of times when a character had an American English accent. It does not happen a ton, but it happened enough to get on my nerves.

Even though the film is terrible, there are things that are good about it. The film’s cinematography was good and looked like there were professionals behind the camera.  Also, the actors are all fine and not one gives a terribly bad performance.

The Snowman was supposed to be one of the best thrillers of the year, but ended up replacing the thrills with z’s. Don’t waste your money on this snooze fest of a movie.

Grade: D-