After thorough research, I’ve determined that Monday is not the enemy.

It’s hard to find something that everyone hates. Some people hate Obama, but Democrats treat him like a god. People hated Romney, but Republicans voted for him to represent their party. These people did nothing but be themselves, yet they were still despised by some. A friend of mine is in the same boat, but he is detested by everyone. His name is Monday, and I’m here to defend him.

I feel terrible for Monday. He can’t help where he comes in the week, which, unfortunately, is at the beginning. Right off the bat, people despise Monday for what it stands for: the start of the school week and the end of the weekend.

If you really think about it, Monday isn’t even the worst day of the week. Despite it being the end of the weekend, the memories from the ragers that you attended on Friday and Saturday are still fresh in your mind and there’s plenty of new things to talk about at school. Now that you are aware of this about Monday, I can talk to you about the true demon day: Tuesday.

Tuesday is awful. On Monday, you should be well-rested because you got to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday. Spoiler alert: you have to wake up early on Tuesday, after waking up early the previous day. You can’t deny those facts. Tuesday drains all the energy that you had left over from weekend, your momentum comes to a screeching halt and you are forced to face the fact that Saturday is still four days away.

See? Monday isn’t that bad; in fact, I actually enjoy it. So let’s all lay off of Monday and start focusing our hatred on a much more deserving day: Tuesday. He’s had it easy for long enough.